manifest anything you want with daily affirmations
 

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful. If you think about it, the only thing we have complete control over is ourselves - our minds, our actions. And that alone, is already so powerful in a sense that we get to shape what is happening around us. Reality is essentially perceptions, and by having control over how we perceive things, we essentially are able to create the reality we want to see. Each thought that we put out into the universe contributes to the world we live in and the energy at which we vibrate at.

What are affirmations?

Affirmations are positive sentences that you say to yourself repeatedly to help you shift your mindset in a positive manner. They help with rewiring your mind, filling it with new positive beliefs and perceptions. Your subconscious mind then uses these affirmations as guidelines for how you live your life, therefore they are extremely powerful. Say something to yourself long enough and it’ll become who you are, so be sure to only surround yourself with words that will lift you up. Affirmations can also be incredibly powerful for helping you manifest the things that you desire quicker. By repeating what you want in life as affirmations, you are shifting your energy to align with where you want to be in life, and in turn it will allow you to transform into the best version of yourself much quicker and easier.

Everything that we repeatedly say to ourselves out loud or in our thoughts is an affirmation. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is a part of our brain that makes words that get repeated over time as part of our identity, positive or negative. Just like sowing seeds in a fruit garden. When we water and nurture the seeds every day, they will grow (most of them). That´s like repeating an affirmation. If you have a tomato plant seed, you plant that seed and water it. Can you expect to get apples? No, of course not. You expect to get tomatoes. That´s how our subconscious mind works. It doesn´t care if you want the seeds you plant to grow. As long as you water and nurture them (affirm repeatedly), they will grow.

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How we speak to ourselves is so important, and it also greatly affects the way that we think. Because we have the power in choosing our words, it is so important to speak to ourselves in a way that will lift us up and cultivate us for the highest good of ourselves. We have the power and we should utilize that in our favor by using our words in a way that will make us feel good and attract positivity into our lives. Remember, feeling good is your job. Affirmations essentially help us to feel good and radiate positive energy, which will in turn help us attract more amazing things into our lives.

I love using affirmations in my life to help me manifest the things that I wish to achieve or to help me be the best version of myself. Affirmations help me to rewire my mind positively, it makes it easier for me to visualize that I already have what I want, and when I visualize myself at that place that I wish to be, the positive energy that is vibrating from me will help me get from where I am to where I want to be. When you constantly vibrate at the energy where you are overflowing with abundance in all areas in your life, you have to get to where you want to go, there is no other way.

It sounds crazy, right? But try it. I like to think of it this way, and it is so incredibly empowering for me. I used to be a skeptic but what harm is there? Try it and see if you feel a change in energy within you! It is said that the universe abhors a vacuum. Wherever there is a void, the universe seeks to fill it. So, when you’re constantly shifting your energy to the place you want to get to, but your physical self is not yet there, the universe will have to fill that void. That’s how you’re going to get from where you are to where you want to be, no doubt about that.

“Thoughts are not fleeting ephemera of life, here one moment and gone the next; like the sculptor with his blade, each thought you have is another change you make to yourself.

This is the magic of affirmations: affirmations engage this cognitive bias in your favor. When you do affirmations, you are teaching your brain a new way to think about the world. This changes what your brain processes on your behalf, leading you to see different things and have different thoughts, until the landscape changes so much that you get what it is you affirmed. The best affirmations are specific because it gives your brain a very clear set of guidelines on what to process for you.”

Megan Holstein

How to create powerful affirmations to change your life:

1. Be in a good mood & calm environment

Your affirmations are most powerful when they are written and said when you are radiating good energy. Release all negative energy, do some breathing exercises if you need. Make your environment as calm and cozy as you need and play some 432Hz music to raise your vibrations and begin writing down or saying your affirmations.

2. Write it in the present tense, as if you already have it

Affirmations are most powerful when they are written or said in the present tense. Use words like “I am”, and write it from a point of view that you already have what you are trying to achieve. If you use a future tense like “I am going to be successful”, a week from now your affirmation will still be “I am going to be successful” and you will find that what you want will find it difficult to get to you because it seems out of reach to you. Saying it in a future tense will make your subconscious wonder “when is it going to happen?” But on the contrary, saying it in present tense allows your mind to process the affirmation as happening right now and then.

If it is difficult, sometimes I like to imagine that in an alternate reality, there is an another version of me – I would like to call her the highest version of myself. And my highest self has already achieved all these things that I am trying to manifest, and she is just waiting for me to get there. The mindset is that I have to get there, it’s just a matter of time, but eventually I will get there. So I would draft my affirmations as something like this: “In another reality, I am ____”, but I will only write it down starting from “I am”. The beginning words “in another reality” just helps me to better visualize it, and it empowers me to know that I will get what I want.

Example: I am happy, healthy, and successful in all areas of my life.

3. It should not contain negative words

Draft your affirmations, and scan through it to make sure that there are no negative words in your sentences. If there are, try rephrasing it with positive words / from a positive point of view.

For example:

Negative: I am no longer fat
Fat is a negative word.

Positive rephrasing: I am perfect in my own way and I am confident about my body.

4. Do not write it from a place of lack

Do not write your affirmations from a perspective that you are lacking in all these things. Write it from a perspective that you already have all these things. You can’t manifest abundance if you’re writing your affirmations from feelings of lack.

5. You must believe in it

You can be as specific as you want but try not to be too specific to the extent that you feel like it is unrealistic or impossible to achieve. The most important thing is that you must believe in your affirmations. You must be able to visualize yourself being in that place as vividly as possible. Let go of all the doubts and self-sabotaging thoughts, and just let yourself immerse in the feeling of visualizing that you already have what you want.

6. Repetition

It is extremely useful to simply repeat your affirmations as many times as you need till you truly believe in it and you feel an energetic shift in your body. Repetition helps greatly in changing your subconscious mind. Say it out loud as many times as you need, or write it down as many times as you want. There is also the 55x5 method where you write down your affirmations 55 times everyday for 5 consecutive days. Make sure to be present and not let your mind wander off when saying or writing each sentence, do not do it just for the sake of it. Say or write each sentence with true intention.

The law of attraction has three steps – ask, believe & receive.

Ask: Know what you want specifically and ask for it
Believe: Trust in the process and trust that you are a limitless being and you can manifest anything
Receive: Prepare yourself and be ready to receive what you asked for
Vivid visualization by feeling like you already have the things you asked for helps you to prepare yourself for this. Pay attention to signs and opportunities that come your way and be ready to act on them if needed.

Once you have written down your list of affirmations, you can refer to them and say it daily. You can do it in the morning before you start your day, or at night before you go to bed. Some people find it helpful to do it in front of a mirror, some people find it easier to close their eyes and read out their affirmations and visualize them with a clear mind. Repeat your affirmations as many times as you need, and then once you are done, let them go. Do not dwell on them, or wonder how they will happen. Just let them go and have faith that the universe will support you.

A side note to also be patient and trust the process. Sometimes you may feel like nothing is happening and you’re not getting anywhere near your goals. Sometimes it may be because you are not ready to possess whatever it is you want, as there are more things you need to learn or there are more things the universe needs to prepare you for in order for you to get there. But eventually, you will, I promise you that.

Affirmations help us believe in the potential of anything we want to manifest, and by doing it consistently, it constantly reassures us that our words will become our reality. Have an open mind to it and it’ll be a tool to help you achieve amazing things.

 
Vinita Tang
how one small change in your lifestyle can deliver you to your ultimate goal
 

I believe that even the smallest changes can contribute to a drastic turn-around in our well-being and help you reach your end-goal even when it seems impossible to achieve.

You might see a small change as insignificant, that it has no potential to have an effect at all on the overall result. But this is where you’re incredibly wrong! In fact, it is the simplest and easiest change that can kick-start the huge revolution and deliver you to your ultimate destination.

The Logic

Easy and difficult choices

In life, we make choices on a daily basis. And for change to take place, we have to make a choice in order for something to happen. Be it to sleep earlier at night or hit the gym more often, there is a choice to be made. Every choice that is made and every change that takes place alters our brain and our body to a certain extent, depending on how significant the change is. And our brain and body constantly adapts to these changes to get used to a new normal.

Our choices can be grouped into two categories – easy and difficult choices. Choices that we deem as difficult are usually those that pose as a huge challenge to us and requires our brain to work harder to adapt, simply because the change is huge. Easy choices, on the other hand, are easier to adapt because we see them as almost effortless, or more manageable, as compared to difficult choices.

Let’s imagine a situation where someone’s end goal is to lose weight. A difficult choice would be to ask him to run 5km weekly. His brain’s immediate reaction to it would be “that is way too hard, you can’t do it.” And when that happens, he would procrastinate on the decision to begin on anything at all to lose weight because it’s too challenging and consequently makes zero progress to reach his end goal.

However, if you ask him to begin with something he considers as manageable such as reducing his intake of fast food from three times a week to once a week, his brain will go “hey, this isn’t that difficult, I can probably do it.” This, is considered as an easy choice. Easy choices are made more easily and effectively, because we deem it as possible and therefore tend to take action on it almost immediately.

And this very small change is going to gear him up for more changes to come. When he has successfully reduced his intake of fast food, he’ll be feeling better about his weight and will then be ready for his next manageable change. Before he knows it, he has already incorporated so many small changes that his weight has improved considerably. And who knows, he might then be ready to take on that 5km weekly run that he initially deemed as impossible.

So you see, it’s the smallest changes that slowly leads you up to your end goal. What you might deem as impossible now may be possible just by taking the first step to incorporate a small and easy change. Easy choices consequently make difficult choices easier, so do not underestimate the effects of a choice to make one simple small change.

The Pyramid

I first read about the pyramid metaphor in this book, which explains what I just described above perfectly. In the book, it is said that our choices make up the pyramid, with the easiest choices being the foundation at the bottom.

When we build our pyramid upwards, we should place our choices in ascending order – easiest at the bottom and hardest at the top. It is important to fill the base with the choices that we deem easiest to make because they are the choices that we would not hesitate to take action on. And this will kick-start our journey towards our end goal.

When you complete the bottom level consisting all the easiest choices, you will find that the second level of choices suddenly become much easier. Compare it to when you were at ground zero and those choices at the second level felt so much more challenging and difficult to achieve.

I’m sure you get what I mean. It gets easier after each level, but you have to first set your foundation right.

How to?

I managed to come up with a few steps that can help in building your very own pyramid.

So let’s say you have your end goal already in mind. What you have to do is to write a list of things that will eventually lead you up to your end goal. Try to spend some time here thinking about it and listing as many as you can.

So maybe you have come up with, for example, 6 things. Then, rank them from 1 to 6 according to difficulty, with 1 being the easiest and 6 the most difficult. Think about how much you would hesitate to take up this choice when it is presented in front of you. Of course, there can be more than 6 things. List as many as you can and rank them from easiest to hardest according to your own standards.

Next step is to evaluate those things that you just listed, and decide if they are easy enough for you to incorporate. If the answer is no, then further break down those things into even simpler steps. Label those broken down steps in alphabetical order starting from which you want to begin first. Break them down as many times as you want until it is simplified enough.

For example, you listed “eating healthier” as one of the things that can help you achieve your end goal. You can further break it down into:

a. reduce intake of fast-food to once a week

b. completely eliminate fast-food

c. incorporate more vegetables in each meal

d. reduce intake of processed foods to once a week

and so on.

You can choose to breakdown the things level by level as you go, or do them all at once. It depends on you. Some people might choose to focus on the bottom level first and not think about the ones higher up, because it can get quite overwhelming sometimes.

If so, then just breakdown the ones at the bottom level into really simple steps and concentrate on doing them first. When you’re ready to move to the next level, then you can start breaking them down again until they all consist of really simple choices that you can easily make.

When you’re happy with the list, you can begin filling them into your pyramid.

And there you have it, your very own pyramid to reach your end goal!

Summary

1. Set the end goal.

2. Write a list of things that will help you to reach your end goal, as many as you can, as specific as you can.

3. Rank the things in numerical order according to difficulty, with 1 being the easiest.

4. Evaluate the things you listed and decide if they are easy enough for you to incorporate.

5. If not, then break them down further into even simpler steps until they are easy enough for you to incorporate.

6. Label the broken down things in alphabetical order starting from which you want to begin first.

7. Fill in the pyramid with the things from your list into each level, with 1 being at the bottom as the foundation.

8. Add in the broken down steps into each level.

9. Begin incorporating them starting from the bottom and work your way up towards your end goal.

Eg. 1a, 1b, 1c, then 2 and so on.

The Pyramid in Practice

To put it in perspective, here’s an example of The Pyramid in practice:

Let’s say this is the list that I have come up with:

pyramid 2.jpg

This is how I would fill in the pyramid with the things from my list:

pyramid practice.jpg

Final Words

Remember, success to this lies in two key steps:

1. Set the foundation with the easiest choices.

2. Breakdown the choices as much as you can until it is simplified enough to begin on them without much struggle.

Don’t stress yourself by looking at the higher levels. You’ll get there ultimately because it gets easier as you go along. Just focus on working on the foundation and those harder choices will become easier eventually.

Incorporate one change at a time, at your own pace. If you want to go slow and make things more manageable, incorporating only one change a week can help.

I hope this has inspired you to begin taking steps to work towards any goal that you have in mind. You might have been putting it off because it’s too challenging. But when you begin building your pyramid and making sure you set your foundation right, you will see it might not be that challenging after all. Even the smallest steps count and can make a difference, no matter how insignificant. The only way is up.

 
Vinita Tang
how incredibly important our thoughts are
 

The truth is, everything stems from a mere thought.

When we eat something, it's because our mind is thinking "I'm hungry and I need to eat some food." When we cry, it's because we are thinking about an unhappy event. When we start an argument with someone, it's because we are thinking "he isn't right, I need him to understand it’s supposed to be like this."

Every action or feeling of ours is a result of a thought that is processed through our minds, regardless of whether we are consciously aware of it or not. As Susie Moore said, "Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your life."

Have you ever had a bad day where nothing was going right for you at all? I know I did. And looking back, I realized it all began simply with one negative thought that crossed my mind.

If you've read the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, you'll know what I'm talking about. In the book, she talks about the Law of Attraction, where she believes that based on the energy that the universe is built upon, all energies vibrate at certain frequencies, and as humans are also a source of energy, they vibrate at their very own frequencies.

I'm sure you've heard about the term "like attracts like" before? According to Rhonda Byrne, the frequency that humans vibrate at attracts other things that vibrate at a similar frequency. And in fact, the frequency which humans vibrate at is actually determined by their thoughts and emotions.

What does this mean? It means that if we want to attract positive things into our lives, we have to actually adjust our own frequency by altering our thoughts to think more positively. According to her,

"Thoughts are magnetic, and thoughts have a frequency. As you think, those thoughts are sent out into the Universe, and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency."

It might sound like some hocus-pocus nonsense to you, but you can't deny that there's some truth in what she said.

Bringing us back to the example I mentioned above. All it needs for a bad day to unfold is one simple negative thought. When we let a negative thought control our minds, it tends to attract more thoughts alike, and we often find ourselves dwelling in an endless chain of negative thoughts, inviting negative events to enter our lives. It's no wonder that we feel as though nothing is going our way.

Which is why our thoughts are so powerful, and why learning how to control them instead of letting them control us is so important. Below are a few ways that you can manage your thoughts better and slowly reclaim the control that you have over your mind.

1. Our first thought

As you would now understand, our thoughts are interconnected, often forming a long chain of thoughts. Which is why it's important that our very first thought of the day is a positive one! Beginning our day with a positive thought would help us to attract more positive thoughts into our minds throughout the rest of the day and consequently allow us to feel happier. We can practice this by taking a few deep breaths when we wake up, and think about one thing that we are grateful for in our lives, or something that makes us happy. Remember, we can control our thoughts. Don't let our thoughts control us and determine how our day is going to go.

2. Press pause and evaluate

During an unpleasant event, our minds would be racing with unhappy and negative thoughts. Being angry, sad or anxious and letting our emotions take over can cloud our minds. We can train ourselves to put a pause to those thoughts by taking in a few deep breaths. Follow that by asking ourselves, "Why am I feeling this way (sad/angry/anxious)?" Remember that our feelings are usually triggered by a thought, so it's helpful to begin at the starting point to get a clearer picture of what's going on.

3. Listen to our inner voice

After evaluating why we're feeling this way, we can ask ourselves a few questions.

For example, if you are getting angry because someone else doesn't respect your opinion and it makes you feel unimportant. You can ask yourself:

• Is it worth getting this angry/sad over this event?

• Would this still matter 5 years down the road? 10 years down the road?

• Is it really true that I'm unimportant?

When answering these questions, try to step back to see the full picture, and shift your focus away from the bad and onto the good if there's any. Eg. "I'm not unimportant, I have actually been recognized by my company for my various achievements" or "it's not worth it to get so worked up and consequently affect my health” or “I don’t have to let other people define who I am, I am much more than that.”

Say these out loud in your head. Believe it or not, the voice inside our heads can be quite persuasive.

4. Understand that our thoughts determine what's next

There are many things in life that we do not have complete control over. However, we have full control over our thoughts and that alone is a power that we should never undermine because our thoughts are so incredibly powerful that they affect the frequency at which we vibrate at.

Often times, it's not so much about what happens to us, but more so about how we react. Someone else might be facing the exact same situation as we are, but the ways in which both parties react would be vastly different. This is because it's the way our thoughts are mapped out that affects our perceptions, and consequently influencing our actions, therefore causing us to react in the way we did. And if we react in a different way, what comes after might greatly vary.

When an unpleasant event occurs, we can choose how we are going to respond to that event. And how we respond to that events determines whether the rest of our day is going to remain bad or it's going to change for the better.

I find it so helpful to identify when a negative thought decides to creep into my mind, and at the first sight of it, I try to put it to a stop to prevent it from manifesting to even more anxiety-triggering things. However don’t put too much stress on yourself, it is normal for negative thoughts to come and go, they actually remind you of what you don’t want to have in your minds! What matters most is that you know how to gain control over your thoughts.

4. Focus on the good

Once you've calmed down, think about the positive side of the situation. For example, if you quarreled with your partner, think about times that he has shown his affection and love for you. If you struggle with finding the positive side of the situation, then think about the good things that are present in your life. Even simple things such as "I'm thankful that I have a loving family and a roof over my head" counts. Focusing on the negative only affects our moods even further and in turn attracts more negative thoughts, feelings and events.

5. Penning down the event

It is said that it is helpful to write down the unpleasant event that has happened, because writing it down takes it out of our minds and keeps it from constantly replaying in our heads. Also, it allows us to take a step back and see a clearer picture of the event.

According to Travis Robertson,

“Inside of your head, it has power and seems much larger than it really is. Written down, it is now outside of your mind and you gain a distance from the emotion that it creates.

The term for this is dissociation and writing out your mental tapes is just one form of doing that. Dissociating yourself from an event means to remove yourself from the first-person position in the memory.

If I were to ask you to think of a painful time in your past and to remember it as if it were happening, you would put yourself right back in that situation. It would stir up emotions and you would feel yourself becoming angry, bitter, frustrated, depressed, etc. That is referred to as associating – putting yourself inside of the event."

That being said, I know all these are often easier said than done, but if you constantly try to incorporate these habits into your life, it'll become part of you before you know it.

I hope this post has convinced you of how important our thoughts are and that these tips would be helpful for you to improve your mental well-being.

 
Vinita Tang
benefits of gratitude journaling
 

What is gratitude journaling?

First, you've to understand what gratitude means — it is one of our many emotions that allows us to feel thankfulness and appreciation for the things around us.

And gratitude journaling essentially is an act of penning down a list of things that you are grateful and thankful for in your life. Cultivating gratitude is in fact a very powerful way for us to improve both our physical and mental well-being, simply because it makes us happy and those effects tend to be pretty long-lasting.

These are some of the benefits associated with gratitude journaling:

1. Improves your health

Many studies have shown that keeping a gratitude journal actually can be incredibly beneficial for our health and well-being. According to a study led by psychology professor Nancy Digdon, a mere act of spending 15 minutes to pen down a few things they're grateful for just before bed has the ability to help people sleep longer and better. Besides improved sleep, it’s also been shown in various other studies to have the ability to increase our energy and vitality, decrease depression and significantly boost our levels of positivity.

2. Teaches you to focus on what really matters

Writing down what you are thankful for will shed light on the things that you want to be surrounded with more in your life. Keep your attention on these, and filter out other negative things that aren't necessary in your life. This way, you can focus on the things that truly matters, which in turn makes you a happier person as a whole.

3. Gets you through tough times

Life isn't always smooth sailing. On days when you feel gloomy or are struggling with obstacles, open up your gratitude journal and read through the things that you're thankful for. It'll remind you that you have great people and things in your life, and the magnitude of the obstacle or event that's making you unhappy will naturally shrink. This also helps you to readjust your attitude to focus more on the good instead of the bad.

4. Makes you a more positive person overall

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude gives you the power to feel happy and contented at any time in your life. Because of the simple fact that it serves as a constant reminder that great things do exist in your life. Becoming a more positive person in turn attracts more positive energy and events towards you, therefore improving both your quality of life and your personal well-being as a whole.

So try taking out some time before bed to pen down a few things that you're thankful for in your life. It can be written in your journal, a plain old notebook, or even on just a piece paper. And if you need some tips on how to incorporate a new habit in your daily routine, check out this post.

 
Vinita Tang
how clutter affects us
 

Have you ever realized that being in a clean and tidy environment actually calms you down and allows you to be more productive? When you’re surrounded by stacks of papers and a whole lot of mess, you’ll find that you tend to feel more frustrated and less able to focus.

1. Clutter decreases our ability to focus

According to a study by Princeton University Neuroscience Institute,

"Multiple stimuli present in the visual field at the same time compete for neural representation by mutually suppressing their evoked activity throughout visual cortex, providing a neural correlate for the limited processing capacity of the visual system.”

In simple terms, it means that the mere presence of clutter in our surroundings actually distracts us, even when we don't realize it. Therefore we are less inclined to process information properly, and it affects our chain of thoughts. With clutter present in our surroundings, it is constantly competing for our attention, decreasing our ability to focus, and drawing our attention away from what we should be focusing on. This in fact puts extra workload on our senses, exhausting our mind.

2. Clutter increases our stress levels

When we find that we have trouble concentrating, we put more pressure on our minds, and in return it increases our stress levels. Additionally, our stress levels are also increasing because the presence of clutter simply makes our space messy, and how can our minds (and body) ever be relaxed and at ease in a messy environment? As all of us should know, excess stress can be the source of many health issues, and is therefore extremely unhealthy for our body.

3. Clutter weighs us down mentally

Moreover, clutter also has the ability to weigh us down mentally. Decluttering using the Konmari method previously actually helped me lift a huge burden off my mind, which helped me greatly during periods where I was extra stressed out.

Why is this so? This is because when we get home to a cluttered space at the end of the day, it sends silent signals to our brains that our work is never done — hello, there is still lots of tidying up to do! Therefore, exhausting us out mentally. Moreover, it has the ability to let us feel all sorts of other negative emotions such as anxiety, frustration, impatience, guilt, and sadness.

Associated Negative Emotions

Anxiety — We may feel more anxious when we are faced with clutter because it reminds us of how much work it's going to take to clean up all this mess.

Frustration — We may feel frustrated when we see clutter lying all over the house because things are constantly piling up and it feels as though it's adding on and on to our never ending list of struggles and worries.

Impatience — When we have to find a particular item from a pile of clutter, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. This makes us feel horribly impatient and again, frustrated — HOW and WHEN am I going to find what I need?!

Guilt — Sometimes, we buy things on impulse. And ever since buying it, it's just been lying there waiting for us to pick it up and use it one day — but that day never comes. So everyday it's just sitting in that corner, constantly reminding us of the poor choices that we've made, and how much money we've wasted. This causes us to feel guilt. Moreover, when friends and relatives come by our place, we may also feel guilt for being so disorganized and untidy.

Sadness — Amongst those clutter, there are definitely some sentimental things from our pasts, and they may remind us of sad events that happened during those times. Therefore, triggering unhappiness in our minds.

All these negative emotions are absolutely not beneficial for our mental well-being. It constantly reminds us that we are incapable of achieving great things. Because how are we going to achieve great things when we are incapable of completing a mere task of tidying up our space?

But, don't let those negative thoughts control our minds!

Remember, we are in control of everything in our lives — our health, our surroundings, our feelings.

So reach out and grab that power. Free your space from clutter — Let go of past feelings and burdens, and make space for things that actually mean something and spark joy in your present life.

 
Vinita Tang
eating habits to improve digestion
 

The quality of our health is built on several aspects, with one of the fundamental aspects being our digestive function. Our digestion is so important simply because its function is vital for delivering nutrients from food to our bodies, allowing it to be converted into energy, growth and cell-repair (source). If our food does not digest well, we may face higher chances of being exposed to an array of health problems.

Poor digestion can manifest as certain common symptoms such as bloating, constipation, diarrhea or gas. You’ll know when you don’t have an optimum digestive function, because you’ll definitely notice the uncomfortable feeling of suddenly being pregnant with a nine-month-old food baby after meals. I, too, have suffered from poor digestion and below are a few really simple eating habits that I have incorporated into my lifestyle which greatly helped in improving my overall digestion.

1. 80/20 Rule

I’m sure you’ve seen me talk about the 80/20 rule before in another post and it can be applied in many situations, such as to the way we eat! I love using the 80/20 rule in how I eat because it stresses that we don’t have to be 100% perfect and emphasizes on us living a balanced life instead.

I apply the 80/20 rule mainly to how much I eat and what I eat, ie. quantity and quality.

Quantity

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we have the tendency to overeat, and what we are consequently left with is a huge block sitting in our stomachs, which can be incredibly uncomfortable. Keeping the 80/20 rule in mind, we can encourage better digestion by simply eating to fill up only 80% of our stomach’s capacity and leaving the remaining 20% for our bodies to digest our food. This is because it is said that it takes about 20 minutes for our stomach to signal our brains that we are actually full. Therefore, even when we don’t feel full, we might have already reached our full capacity, and there is just a delayed response to our ability to feel full. By eating up to 80%, it could prevent us from overeating and allows us to eat only what we need, thus greatly reducing the uncomfortable bloating after meals and in turn improve our digestion.

Quality

When it comes to the type of food I eat, I try to keep my plate filled with 80% vegetables and 20% protein (eg. meat). Of the 80% vegetables, I try to have 30% starchy vegetables and 50% leafy vegetables. I found that this has allowed me to get the most out of my meals because leaving in too much protein or starches left me feeling bloated for longer periods of time.

Overall

And of course, nothing has to be 100% perfect, otherwise our minds would deem it to be too challenging to achieve and we’ll stop these habits all together after a period of time. Applying the 80/20 rule and giving ourselves allowance to slip up 20% of the time tends to be more realistic and helps us keep up with these eating habits in the long-run. But remember to not give ourselves too much allowance as well, otherwise it would be difficult to get back on track.

2. Beverages during meals

Amount

I found that limiting any sort of beverages (including water) during meals played a huge part in improving my digestion. When I used to chug large amounts of water during meals, I got bloated more easily, and I’m assuming this is because the liquid adds volume to the stomach therefore making us feel full easier. In turn, this makes us eat lesser food than we should (because we are so full with liquids) and adds on to our bloating problem. Moreover, it is said that drinking large amounts of liquids during meals may interfere with the digestion process to a certain extent.

Hot vs Cold

Our bodies’ digestive enzymes work best at body temperature, ie. 37°C, thus it is the best temperature for optimum digestion to take place. (source) Whenever we ingest cold drinks, it lowers our stomach’s temperature which consequently slows down our digestion process. When our digestion process slows down, the food we ingest will stay in there for longer periods of time and in turn, this generates more gas that can cause bloating in the stomach or abdomen.

Moreover, drinking cold drinks causes the fats from the foods we ingest to be emulsified slower. These partially solidified fats then linger on our intestines’ villi and therefore hindering with the villi’s job of absorbing nutrients from the food we ingest.

Our bodies also exert unnecessary energy to warm up the cold liquids we ingest to room temperature, and we don’t want that to be happening during our meals as we want our bodies to focus on digesting our meals well.

Therefore, in short, I found that the following tips helped to improve my digestion a great lot:

•             Avoid drinking 30 minutes before and after meals.

•             If you aren’t used to not drinking anything during meals, sip on water / soups / bone broth / ginger tea that are warm or at room temperature.

•             Try not to drink large amounts of liquid during meals.

•             Avoid drinking cold drinks such as iced water and soft drinks during meals.

•             Drinking a large glass of water 30 minutes before meals can help in preventing you from feeling thirsty during a meal.

•             Chewing your food adequately to stimulate saliva production can help you feel less thirsty during meals.

3. Fruits

It is said that fruits should be eaten on an empty stomach, which means about 1 hour before or 2 hours after our meals. This way, our bodies can easily digest the fruits we eat and extract those beneficial nutrients to be absorbed by our bodies. Fruits eaten during meals or after meals would cause the fruits to be retained in the stomach for longer periods of time together with the other food we just ingested. This encourages the fruits to ferment in the stomach and in turn can cause gas and abdominal bloating.

4. Chew your food

This is extremely important and possibly one of the habits that improved my digestion the most. If you didn’t know yet, digestion begins in our mouths and chewing our food adequately helps to stimulate saliva production which contains digestive enzymes to break down our food. The longer you chew, the more the food would be broken down and in turn this makes it easier for our stomach to digest the remaining food particles.

Imagining simply swallowing a large chunk of food — this would give our stomach more workload as the digestive enzymes have to slowly work from the outer surface areas of the food inwards. Therefore, causing our digestion to be less effective and efficient.

Compare it to adequately chewed and broken down food — it has a larger surface area that can be reached by our stomach’s digestive enzymes to digest, therefore digestion would naturally be a whole lot more effective.

Thus, take some time to chew every mouthful of your food until it is as liquefied as it can be before swallowing. You’ll notice how much difference it’ll make in your digestion!

5. Avoid eating in stressful situation

Eating in a stressed and anxious state can greatly hinder our digestion. This is because our bodies becomes more focused on dealing with the stress and anxiety that we are facing, and thus leaving lesser energy to focus on breaking down, digesting and absorbing the nutrients from the food we ingest.

Therefore it is important for us to not eat while we are on the go, or while we are rushing to finish our work. It is best to eat in a state where you can focus on enjoying every mouthful of your food.

6. Deep breaths

As I mentioned above, it is so important for us to be in a relaxed, calm and happy state when we are having our meals. And to do so, we can develop the habit of taking in 10 deep breaths before we begin eating.

How to:

1. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen.

2. Breathe in as deep as you can through your nose. When you take a deep breath in, the hand on the abdomen should rise higher than the one on the chest.

3. Hold it there for 3 seconds.

4. Exhale all the way out through your mouth.

7. Eat at regular intervals

Eating at regular intervals throughout the day prevents us from overeating. Because when we eat at odd hours, we either have our meals too spread out or too close together. When our meals are too spread out, we tend to feel excessively hungry when it’s time to eat and therefore it can cause us to overeat, leading to slower digestion, bloating and gas. When our meals are too close together, it does not give our bodies adequate time to properly digest our food before we begin stuffing ourselves with more food again.

Therefore it is best to spread out your meals adequately according to how your body is comfortable with. Some people prefer having 3 large meals, while some prefer having 5 smaller meals throughout the day.

8. Avoid eating close to bedtime

Sleeping slows down our digestion process and therefore we should avoid eating our last meal too close to our bedtime in order to allow the food we just ate to be fully digested. When we are sleeping, our bodies are supposed to be resting and detoxifying our systems, not digesting that huge chunk of food that we just ate.

Moreover, going to bed with a full stomach can affect your sleep quality and increase your chances of getting acid reflux problems.

Therefore, we should aim to eat our last meal of the day no later than 2-3 hours before we go to bed, depending on how large the meal is. I always try to have my lunch be my largest meal of the day because it allows more time for the food to be digested as compared to dinner.

9. ACV before meals

It is said that apple cider vinegar can help in stimulating the production of stomach acid which in turn can help us digest our food better.

<strong>How to</strong> — Mix 1 to 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar in warm water and drink it 20 minutes before your meals.

10. Ginger Tea

Ginger tea is my favorite go-to for improving digestion and reducing bloating and gas. Ginger contains compounds to help stimulate the production of saliva, bile and gastric juice to aid in digestion. Also, it has properties that can help relieve gases trapped in our digestive system, and in turn alleviate bloating.

Thus, drinking warm ginger tea 20 minutes before your meals or sipping on it during your meals can help in improving your digestion.

All in all, these are the eating habits that have greatly improved the quality of my digestion over this period of time. Of course, there are also other factors to consider, such as whether:

•             You're producing sufficient stomach acid

•             You're producing sufficient digestive enzymes

•             Your gut is healthy

•             You have some other medical conditions affecting your digestion</ul>

But these habits are simple ways that you could begin implementing today and I hope they would be helpful (even at the slightest) at improving your digestion. Do let me know how it went if you gave them a try!

 
Vinita Tang
fixing your body clock
 

Do you find yourself wide awake when everyone in your house would be already be fast asleep, and then consequently waking up at odd timings the next day just to compensate for the night before?

The earliest I used to go to bed was at 2AM, and I would always struggle to wake up in the morning the next day if I had work. If I didn't have to go to work, I would sleep until 2PM in the afternoon. That was how messed up my body clock was.

Today I'm going to share some tips that I found helpful in fixing my body clock back to normal!

1. Start slow and increase gradually

As with beginning a new routine, it's always helpful to start out slow. If you're going to bed at 2AM every night, you can't expect to suddenly be able to fall asleep at 10PM. Well, unless you're one of those people who can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. But I doubt so, otherwise, you shouldn't be here looking for advice to fix your body clock!

When we get so used to sleeping at a certain time, it's usually difficult to change it unless you're extremely tired. What you could do is to try going to bed one hour before your current sleep time, and then increasing the amount slowly as you go.

For example, if you're sleeping at 2AM, try going to bed at 1AM for the rest of the week and see if you can fall asleep. If you have no trouble falling asleep at 1AM, then feel free to reduce it to 12AM, 11PM and so on until you reach your goal!

2. Fix the root cause

You should analyze why you're sleeping so late in the first place and see if it can be rectified.

For example, you're sleeping late every night because of school work, so see if you're able to do them earlier in the day so you could sleep earlier at night. If you're sleeping late simply because you are used to being on your phone before bed, you should make it a point to unplug at a certain time. The "if-then" plan that I mentioned in my habits post could be useful in this case! You could formulate an action plan as such — "if the time reaches 12AM and I'm still awake, then I will off my phone and go to bed."

3. Allow time to settle in bed

It's not always that once you land on your bed, you'll fall asleep. Plan to go to bed about 30 minutes earlier so you have time to settle in and get cozy before falling asleep!

4. Always wake up at same time

I find that always waking up at the same no matter what time you go to bed helps me to get my body clock back on track.

For example, if I go to bed at 10PM, I wake up at 8.30AM. If I go to bed at 12AM, I would still wake up at 8.30AM. This makes it easier for me to go to bed at 10PM again the next day. Otherwise, if I go to bed at 12AM and end up waking up later at say, 11AM, I would find it difficult to go to bed at 10PM again the next day.

So push yourself to get up once your alarm rings and not snooze and go back to bed!

5. Stick to it

Once you have established a fixed sleeping time, try to stick to it. It means your body is slowly getting used to your current sleep schedule. Go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, even on weekends. Trust me, it gets easier by the day and it'll be second nature for you before you know it.

6. Improve your quality of sleep

Taking steps to improve the quality of your sleep helps you to fall asleep easier at night. Once you are able to fall asleep and get up at a certain timing, it makes it easier for you to continue doing so for the subsequent days ahead.

I hope you find this post useful in helping you reset your body clock!

 
Vinita Tang
incorporating habits effectively
 

New year’s approaching and it calls for new year resolutions to be made! Be it starting a new exercise routine or a healthier diet, it involves transitioning. But have you ever realized that every time we try to start on something new, we tend to lose motivation halfway or just somehow fail to fall through?

Four Tendencies

To successfully incorporate a new habit, I find that it's helpful to know which of the four tendencies you are under Gretchen Rubin's "Four Tendencies" Framework. Gretchen Rubrin devised the framework to help us understand how we respond to both inner and outer expectations, which closely affects our habits.

Take the quiz here!

Basically, there are four tendencies:

Upholders — respond readily to both outer and inner expectations

Questioners — question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation only if they think it makes sense

Oblidgers — meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves

Rebels — resist all expectations, both outer and inner

Understanding which tendency you fall under allows you to formulate ways that allow you to stick to your habits better. You can find some helpful habit strategies as well as some words of advice for each of the tendencies here.

I, myself, fall in the category of a questioner. I do a lot of research beforehand and only start on something when I have justified that it is worth doing or that it's truly beneficial for me. And indeed, monitoring and scheduling (through my bullet journal/planner) helps me to keep up with my habits better.

It might seem daunting to begin inserting a new routine into your lifestyle, but it is definitely do-able if you are determined! That being said, below are 11 tips that I found helped me the most when I was trying to incorporate a new habit into my lifestyle at the beginning stage.

1. You have to be convinced

It is only when you have truly convinced yourself that incorporating this certain habit is beneficial for you that you will consistently keep up with it. If somebody else is pressuring you to do it, you wouldn't do it. If you're doing it simply because someone else is doing it, it's easy to quit when you slipped up and it wouldn't work it in the long run as well. Therefore it is important to know what you want and why you want to do it.

2. Set a definite start date

You're never going to start on it unless you give it a specific start date, trust me, I've been there before. With a specific start date, it's harder to put it off. Tell yourself it's time to start, otherwise you're never going to do it. After all, it doesn't have to be perfect. Once you've started, you can still take steps to sort out the nooks and crannies.

3. Make it easy to follow

If you are trying to incorporate a new habit into your routine, it's important to simplify it so that it's easy enough to keep up. If it's too difficult, you'll find yourself losing the motivation to bring yourself to make it happen.

For example, if you want to start incorporating exercise into your routine, instead of planning a whole list of different exercises to incorporate, you could start with simple exercises like sit-ups or 15 minute runs. When you feel that you're ready to move to the next stage, you can then add another type of exercise into your routine or simply extend the timing of the exercise.

4. Start slow and work your way up

When starting a new routine, be it introducing a new supplement or starting a new diet, it is important to know that you may or may not experience changes in the body as your body adapts to the new routine. This is why you should always start slow and slowly incorporate the changes a little at a time. This allows you to be able to monitor the effects of introducing that new routine, and be sure that it is directly attributed to introducing that new routine alone. If you start incorporating a whole list of changes at a go and experience reactions from those changes, you wouldn't know which one of them is responsible for the reaction you're experiencing.

For example, if you're trying to eat healthier, instead of doing a 180 degree revamp and change from a diet of processed foods to eating salads and drinking juices, you could start slow by first cutting out fast food from your diet and observing how you feel. When you feel ready, you can then start to incorporate other changes step by step. It is important to only start incorporating the next change once you're comfortable, there is no rush and you should always do things at your own pace. Remember, change always takes time.

5. Do it at the same time everyday

Try to implement your habits such that you do them at the same time everyday, this helps you to transform it into a routine and it makes it easier to keep up.

For example, I've been so used to meditating before bed that I feel like I'm missing something when I don't.

6. Plan for failure

It's said to be easier to stick to habits if you plan for failure. You could do so using the "if-then" plan to formulate action plans for specific scenarios.

For example, if you are trying to exercise every alternate day, you could formulate action plans for scenarios which will prevent you from doing so.

"If it rains, then I will do sit-ups at home instead.”

"If I end work late today, then I will make an effort to exercise the next day after work."

7. Take it easy on yourself

It's important to take if easy on yourself and not to give yourself too much pressure. Remember the 80/20 rule, we are not perfect and it's alright if you slip up for a day, don't let it affect your motivation. As long as you're consistent and you have set yourself a specific time that you're going to get back on track (use the if-then plan!), it wouldn't affect your long run progress. It would also be helpful to take note why you slipped up, so you can prevent the situation from happening again.

For example, if you fell sick and missed a day of exercise, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. As long as you set your mind to start again when you feel better, it is alright. You could use the if-then plan to formulate an action plan to keep yourself on track — "if I fall sick, then I will exercise when I recover."

8. But don't take it too easy

While you should take it easy on yourself, but it's important to stay disciplined as well. It's easy to lose momentum when you miss a day so you should be disciplined enough to pull yourself to get back on track.

9. Find a part of your daily routine which the new habit can fit in

It's easier to keep up with a new habit if you anchor it to an existing habit that is already in your daily routine.

For example, if you're trying to journal daily, you could anchor it to your existing habit of eating breakfast — "after breakfast I will sit down and take out 15 minutes to journal". If you're trying to meditate daily, you could anchor it to your existing habit of going to bed — "before bed I will meditate for 15 minutes".

10. Reflect when it's not working out

If find yourself starting to slip out of the habit, sit down and reflect to see why it may not be working out and see if it can be rectified.

For example, it became too much of a hassle for me to take my vitamins because it was in the cupboard upstairs. Solution? — move the vitamins downstairs so it's easier to be reached. (Step 1 — make it easy to follow!)

11. Keep a journal

Using a bullet journal to help keep track of my new habits has made me more inclined to keep up with them, simply because I'm doing journaling on a daily basis in the morning and it serves as a daily reminder that I should be doing so and so otherwise I won't be able to check it off my list and that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I hope these tips help to make your transition into a healthy lifestyle easier and more manageable.

 
Vinita Tang
how to improve the quality of your sleep
 

Sleep is so important for our health and we can all benefit from a night of good quality sleep.

Poor sleep quality affects our immune system, mood as well as increases inflammation in our body. And according to the TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) body clock, 11PM - 3AM is when our liver and gallbladder does it's housekeeping job.

Which is why when we are up at these odd hours doing stimulating activities, it's interfering with the organs' job of detoxifying the body. So put away that phone and get some rest!

That being said, here are some of the ways that I found helpful in improving the quality of my sleep.

1. Unplug

It's useful to always unplug from any electronic devices 1 hour before our desired sleep time because if you don't already know, blue light from electronic devices (phones, computers, tv) affects our pineal gland's ability to release melatonin and therefore affecting our quality of sleep.

The pineal gland is tiny organ in the brain that releases melatonin a few hours before our regular bedtime. However, light (especially blue light), can prevent the pineal gland from releasing melatonin, thus warding off sleepiness. (source)

Therefore, always unplug from any electronic devices and leave them nowhere near your sleeping area!

2. Dim the lights

As mentioned above, any sort of light affects our pineal gland's ability to release melatonin, therefore dimming the lights around us when it's close to our bed time helps us to relax and fall asleep easier.

3. Relax

Try to avoid engaging in stimulating activities. Relax yourself and calm your mind by reading a book, listening to calming music or meditating before bed.

4. Keep yourself busy during the day

I find that keeping myself busy during the day helps me to fall asleep easier at night, as compared to when I am less occupied during the day.

5. Focus on breathing

When you find you can't fall asleep, it's always a good idea to focus on your breathing. When you find yourself thinking about other things, shift your focus back to your breath. Before you know it, you'll be fast asleep.

6. Keep it cool

I find that keeping my surroundings cozy makes it easier for me to fall asleep so I usually turn on the air-condition to cool down the room.

But keep in mind that if you sleep in an air-conditioned room, remember to place a bowl filled with water or turn on your humidifier to ensure it doesn't get too dry!

7. Don't stress it

If you find yourself being unable to fall asleep even after 15 minutes, get up and do something relaxing. Go back to bed when you're feeling tired. If we stress ourselves about being unable to fall asleep, we might find it even harder to get a shut eye.

Another point is to not look at the clock even if you can't fall asleep, as I found it'll make you feel more stressed about not falling asleep. Focus on relaxing the mind and listening to the sounds around you.

8. Learn the concept of letting go

Sometimes I find myself unable to fall asleep because there's just so much going on in my mind. There are so many thoughts going on, some of them such as what I have to do tomorrow, what I should wear tomorrow etc. And the more we indulge in those thoughts, the longer we'll end up staying awake. There's just a never ending list of things to think about.

This is where we'll have to tell ourselves to let go, and leave those thoughts to tomorrow when we wake up. It might not seem as easy as it sounds, but try to shift your focus to something else such as the sound of the fan or your own breathing and try to sleep.

Another thing we could do is write down those thoughts bothering us and then put them aside till tomorrow.

9. Eating at the right timings

It is said that going to bed with a full stomach can affect our quality of sleep because it distracts us and keeps us awake. Therefore it is best to avoid eating close to bedtime and have our last meal of the day three hours before we sleep. However it can be extremely difficult to sleep when we are hungry as well, therefore if there is really no choice and you are really hungry, you could consider having a really light snack or a warm cup of beverage. This could however be prevented by having regular meals throughout the day and having our last large meal three hours before bed.

10. Candles & Scents

You could make your room cozy by lighting a candle or with essential oils. Scents such as lavender and cedar wood are both relaxing scents which would help us wind down and prepare for a good night's rest.

11. Herbal teas

I found that drinking herbal teas like tulsi tea and chamomile tea close to bedtime helped to improve my quality of sleep by allowing me to relax and calm my mind at night.

12. Epsom salt soaks

Epsom salts are rich in magnesium and magnesium is known for its relaxing and calming properties, which could greatly help in improving the quality of our sleep. You could take a warm Epsom salt bath, or if you don't have a bath tub like me, you could take Epsom salt foot soaks instead.

13. Establish a routine

Once you found yourself a comfortable night time routine, try to do it consistently every night as it signals to your body that it's close to bed time and it's time to relax.

I hope you found these little tips useful! Here’s to giving your body the quality sleep it deserves.

 
Vinita Tang
the 80/20 rule to change your life
 

Some of you may have heard of the 80/20 rule somewhere before, it’s also known as Pareto principle or the law of the vital few. It is basically a principle based on the assumption that most of the results in any situation are determined by a small number of causes, ie. 80% of your outcome is determined by 20% of your input.

Let me give you an example:

In a business scenario, a company can identify the top 20% of its clients that are generating the most revenue for them and focus on that 20% to generate the 80% of their revenue.

The 80/20 rule teaches you to focus on the right things and has changed the way I live my life a whole lot.

1. Productivity

So how can we apply this 80/20 rule even when we’re not involved in business? Well, the 80/20 rule can be applied in our lives to firstly help us to be more productive as a whole.

Let’s say we have a stack of things that we need to do lined up ahead of us. We could maximize our productivity by analyzing which ones of the pile are the most important 20%, and focus those first. By completing those important tasks first, we would be able to achieve a major part of our end result even when it’s only completing 20% of the stack.

This way, you could be more efficient and effective in generating the results you desire.

2. Happiness

When we start to examine our lives, we may be able to identify components within it that we can breakdown into 80/20 ratios. We only have one life, and ensuring we are filling it with as much happiness as we can is SO important. To maximize happiness, it is extremely useful to identify the 20% things that truly make YOU happy as a person. Whatever that sparks joy in you, something that you’re passionate about  –  focus on it and do more of it. Try to avoid wasting time on the 80% things that provides little satisfaction for you. This way, the key 20% input of doing more things that make you happy is able to help you generate 80% of the output which is the value you bring to people around you. When you are happier as a person, you are able to contribute more to your own life as well as the people around you.

3. Living Healthier

When it comes to living healthier, the 80/20 rule can come into play as well!

Exercise

Applying the 80/20 rule can help you to achieve the results you want from your exercise routine more effectively and efficiently!

Here's how:

1. Identify 20% of the exercises among your routine that can contribute the most to the results you desire

2. Implement them more often

It's as simple as that.

Diet

When it comes to eating healthier using the 80/20 rule, there is a slightly different concept as compared to the original. The 80/20 rule for eating healthy is basically a principle of eating exactly the way you planned 80% of the time and allowing some slip-ups 20% of the time.

This makes the whole process of eating healthier more realistic and sustainable in the long-run. Restricted goals and plans only makes us feel the lack of freedom, like it’s some sort of punishment. Thus we tend to drop the whole idea of eating healthier all together after a while.

I like the idea of using the 80/20 rule for eating healthy because it emphasizes that we are not 100% perfect and we can and should allow slip-ups sometimes. After all, it’s all about living a balanced lifestyle, right?

What to use that 20% allowance for can vary differently for different people. Some people may use it to treat themselves to something they would not allow themselves to eat on a strict plan, it all depends on what standards you set for yourself that you are comfortable with.

It essentially reiterates the fact that we do not have to be 100% perfect in everything we do and it is okay to let loose and slip-up sometimes, if conditions allow.

Of course, you have to be disciplined and not allow yourself to indulge too much to allow the 20% to grow into 40% and consequently 80%!

4.  Relationships

Other than leading a healthier lifestyle, there is also a very useful way we could use the 80/20 rule to better manage our relationships with people

In this case, I’m going to use the relationship with your significant other as an example!

Our partners have both good and bad sides to them. While they may not be the most punctual person or the most good-looking person, they do also possess good qualities such as being caring and attentive to areas which you might not notice, or putting in the effort to get along well with your family. Those bad qualities make up 20%, but the rest of the 80% are actually really good.

We humans often find it difficult to be contented with what we have now, and tend to always be on the look-out for something better. The 80/20 rule for relationships essentially teaches us that we should be contented with the 80% that we have, instead of constantly venturing out to find that 20% that our partners lack. Yes, we always want what we can’t have, but is it worth it?

Let’s say one day, you really meet someone with that 20% that your partner lacks, and you eventually get together with him or her because you think – wow, he/she’s everything I’m looking for. But is that 20% really everything?

Do you really gain anything at all, when you sacrificed that 80% you already had, just to get that 20% that was probably something insignificant? It’s not worth it, is it?

So by keeping this rule in mind, it reminds us to be contented with what we have now, because in fact, nobody can ever reach the 100% mark of being perfect for someone else. There is always that 20% that we are not contented with. But why focus on that 20%, when we are blessed with the 80% that is amazing?

Focus on the 80%, and be contented with the now. Forget about the insignificant 20% and don’t let it entice you to give up something amazing and hard to find.

I hope you found this helpful for improving these different aspects of your life, because I definitely have! The 80/20 rule changed my perspective on so many things and I hope it would have the same impact on you.

 
Vinita Tang